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Taking the Work out of Homework

A return to school sometimes means a return to the battlefield--the battle between parents and children over homework. Sometimes, parents will even do a child's homework after he or she has gone to bed, just so the assignments get done. But according to Jay Wiedenkeller, director of Saint Joseph Health Center's Child Development Center, those parents are doing their children a disservice.There is a lot more to homework than learning to do geometry, for example. It's also about life lessons. Parents need to tell kids why it's important, more than just 'the teacher says so'."

In addition to reinforcing the school lessons, Wiedenkeller says homework gives children practice following directions, it teaches them time management and organizational skills, builds self-confidence and coping skills. "These sorts of skills are actually more important than the actual assignment."

Wiedenkeller urges parents to be honest with their children. "It's sometimes difficult for parents, but go ahead and admit it: everyone hates homework. Parents need to change their role from being an adversary to being a coach."

How do you move to the new role? First, look at the family dynamics. Is homework being used in a power play? Are parents trying to fix everything for their children? Is homework being used by kids to "get even" with parents? There are a lot of issues within families that may need to be addressed. You also must consider a student's temperment and learning style.

The next step is to create a daily quiet time. "The whole family needs to be involved in setting this up," says Wiedenkeller. Determine what time of day is best for the child and how much time he or she needs for homework. (A first grader generally requires 15 minutes--add five minutes for each grade through eighth.) Select a location such as the kitchen or dining room and have study materials (paper, pencils, etc.) ready and waiting for the student. A timer and a clock are needed for the study plan. This program is a fresh start for parents and students. "Start with an apology," suggest Wiedenkeller. You can tell the child, "I see you're having a hard time. I feel bad I haven't helped you learn how to study."

Go over the reasons why homework is important. Everyone in the family uses this time for quiet activities. Parents might use the time to pay bills or read the newspaper. Tell the child he or she can use the quiet time for homework, working on school projects or pleasure reading. He or she can not doodle, play electronic games or sleep.

Again, Wiedenkeller says, work on being a coach--not an enforcer. When a child tries to stall with asking questions, getting a drink or taking a trip to the bathroom--stop the timer. "Then add back the break time, plus two minutes for the interruption--not as a punishment, but explain that when you get interrupted at work, it takes about two minutes to get back in the proper mind set." Wiedenkeller says within two weeks most kids are on track. He says it's best to start the program when kids start school but this plan works for all ages--even households without kids. The key is to be consistent and refrain from criticizing, blaming or arguing--and get everyone in the house on board.

Jay Wiedenkeller can be reached at 816-943-4769, Child Development Center of Saint Joseph Health Center.